Ever wonder how the same circumstances continue to show up in your personal and professional life? It can appear as though you are stuck in a vicious cycle or attracting similar situations, over and over?
Check out this list on how you create this dynamic and how to gain more control.
- Whatever we give our attention to, grows.
So, if you want more of it, keep doing it and if you want less, focus elsewhere. Have gratitude for what ‘is’ and focus less on what you wish it would be….watch how more of what you want, actually shows up. Forcing our will to eliminate a problem, just means it will show up again elsewhere, perhaps in a different suit. If we choose to create and grow instead, we defuse the power this issue has over ourselves and our business.
- Lies are based on a belief that you may lose something or be embarrassed by the truth.
It’s a sign of lack of trust in the self to handle disappointment. Want to really attract amazing people and opportunities, start getting real with yourself and see what you are denying. Courage is actually accepting your own truth, allowing possible loss and acting from there, rather than using that energy to hide something you judge as unseemly. It all comes out in the end, it saves a lot of pain to just be honest at the start.
- If you believe that all relationships turn bad, end or you cannot trust others, you will fulfill that goal. Your subconscious is the map, it tells the conscious mind where to go.
Do you have a negative belief about you or other people, guess what? The subconscious will fulfill it for you. Instead, get a spotlight to shine on the WHY behind the belief and get uncomfortable, as you take action in a positive direction. (funny, how the words uncomfortable and positive go together) This will create new beliefs.
- If you believe more good exists inside of you than a voice in your head kicking your ass, the perception you own, will magnetize the outside to match. (even when negative circumstances arise–you will see it as temporary, not life defining)
- Engaging in playing games, means sooner or later you’ll end up the loser. Be real.
Authenticity gives your life real meaning. When you play a part, the return on it, never is permanent. Dig deep to find your truth–then act on it, without attachment to the outcome. Most of the time, your results are 9000% better than if you had faked it til you won it (and then lost it again).
- If you don’t believe you have value, you’ll look for situations affirming this belief or create them to show you are indeed, without worth.
Awareness of these core beliefs and questioning their validity will help you to not get triggered into going down the same ol’ road.
- In love, money and people, try to tell your conscious mind it doesn’t mean attachment or expectations are included in the deal.
No one else can fix you or make life better, unless you’re already doing something about it–so even if the love of your life came through the door, you made millions of dollars or hired the most amazing senior management, nothing would feel one iota better, until you fulfill your own needs first.
- No matter how much you care about others, you cannot stop them from doing stupid shit or heading into self destruction, only they can stop themselves if they want to….or not.
Let go of trying, let go of taking them and their actions personally. You can do nothing to change them, unless they are already doing it themselves.
- If you really sit with the discomfort inside of you, that you may want someone else (or that killer deal) to relieve, you’ll find you are your own best medicine.
Stay with the anxiety, the neediness, the emptiness or whatever it is causing you pain. It won’t kill you and you’ll find the temporary relief you get from a BIG win or someone else doesn’t compare to the permanent relief you can offer yourself.
- Assumptions are dream killers–you can talk yourself out of anything you want (especially if it requires change) just by assuming some story, which may or may not be true.
If you don’t know, it’s okay, because even if you THOUGHT you knew–most of the time it doesn’t assure the outcome. Spending countless hours analyzing, strategizing and stressing will only lead to more inertia. Action trumps thought, show your ‘mind’ that all assumptions are b.s. and get out there and live your dreams.
This post is also available on the Huffington Post.